A Real Cancer Patient

I'm back. It's been a while, wow, since Jan. since I looked at this wee space. I am feeling like a real cancer patient now. Ugh. As evidenced by the pic I have put up here now, I look like one as well! Never before in all the treatments I've been through have I felt this horrible.


Of course, my hair is mostly gone. It began to come out in dried, withered clumps after the 1st treatment. And I was shedding all over my house worse than my two cats! I had it cut off short for a bit then asked my brother to just shave my head. It's so much easier to deal with this way. But man I miss my beautiful hair; it had finally grown to the length I'd wanted - taken over a year! But, hey, it's just hair, right?

After this every-3-week IV drip of toxins, I have several days of terrible discomforts of the, shall we say, "insides." I become a slave to the bathroom. I feel very very weak, hollow almost, as though I have naught but cartilage left to move my body with. Also, I can't taste things well - my mouth feels like someone shrinkwrapped it with plastic & taste can't get through. There is terrible heartburn which none of the OTC's seems to touch. My vision becomes blurry, and I am so so so tired. I can't even get up to do mundane things such as vaccuum, change the sheets on my bed, etc. Showering & dressing is about what I can manage. Maybe load the dishwasher or handwash a dish or two. Perhaps manage 1 load of laundry. But energy's really limited.


I am receiving Neulasta, as well, to prevent the precipitous drop in WBC's which my 2nd treatment gave me. This stuff works well for producing cells, but it also gives me bone pain in my sternum, ribs, arms, and thighs. Oh such fun! And I really want to just treat this with tylenol. I'm too afraid to fill the Rx for lortabs and end up needing them way too much.

I sleep a lot. I lie about on the couch a lot, I've seen hundreds of hours of television. I've read a lot. Thank God/dess my brother is living with me & is taking care of such things as the daily litter box cleanings (which I must avoid at this time), running the sweeper, running errands. Our furnace gear went out, too, so we have no heat in the house. Lucky for us we live in Pensacola and it's going to be spring soon! But I worry about the a/c not being able to run; we absolutely cannot make it without that here. Would truly be a hell.

Lately I have seen so much in the news about breast cancer. My heart goes out to my family & sisters in cancer who have suffered with that disease (Aunt Jan, Pat, Pamela G.) and I know your trials are not less. I would like to see more publicized about ovarian cancer, though. That is & has been my personal burden, since 1992, and I would like to see an Ovarian Cancer Walk, etc. We all need the support, the financing, the love...

I only ask that you not forget me, send some healing thoughts my way when you have a moment, and remember that so many around you are touched in some way by these horrible diseases. Somewhere out there is a cure, let's all keep searching.

Thanks for everything! I'll be back - promise!

Peace,
Kate